FREAKIN' A MAN

Such a "white phrase" but Christmas is making me say it this year! OK... so i know this is going to be cold and harsh but damn it.. I'm sayin it anyways! I'm so sick of these damn people at checkouts asking me if I want to donate my money to some charity, organization, whatever! NO! I think it's pretty safe to say, we're all strugglin financially right now, and I hate to admit it, but my ass is stingy with my money.. i don't want to give you a dollar to donate to this or that! I'm just not that nice.. sorry...

I love Christmas, but I swear it's become the most opportune time to guilt people out of money... I'm not fallin for it!

Just my opinion.

Guys Are Like Superheros...

My newest theory on men:

They are like superheros,they can crush all your dreams in one solid leap and bound! Let me explain...

I've been dating recently and what I've learned is not to get your hopes up about shit... it's best to go into it thinking it's going to be hell and then being pleasantly surprised by the nice guys.
I had a crush on this guy, we had talked every now and then, but usually through text, and one night he asked if i was free for Thursday of that week and set up a date. We had planned to make dinner together and kick back with some movies. He even reassured me the night prior that we were still on... only to call me the next day... saying he had "personal shit" to take care of... then proceeded not to talk to me for over 2 weeks.. then when he did talk to me he was a jerk, mind you he had asked me out! Then there is guy #2, he's the one that we had an awesome date, but then freaked out, he said he didn't want to keep seeing me b/c he liked me too much... What the fuck??? Guy #3, he's just crazy... this guy is the one that I met when I was having drinks with a friend, was very sweet, we went on a few dates, then he became very weird... everything had to be planned perfectly. Now, he's calling me every freakin minute talking about how he supposedly missed me (WE ONLY HAD 3 DATES!) and how much he wanted to see me again... PSYCHO, can we say Fatal Attraction

The moral of the story...don't invest hoping and dreaming into a man... b/c as i said.. they're like superheros and will crush them with one leap and bound.. as soon as you think one is a good one, inevitably they will fuck that perception up... it's just gonna happen... the trick is discovering their kryptonyt.

On Another Note...
What is it with guys that you USED to date thinkin they can still get the ass? Just because you had it once before, doesn't mean we're going to circum to your new found charm. I dated this guy for 4 years on and off... and we've been broken up for over 3 years now. However, we talk now and then, and for some reason, he thinks he can say things he used to say and its gonna make everything ok, turn me on, and make me want him...what is that?
News flash ass hole, when you cheat and impregnate a woman multiple times, it kinda puts you out of my dating pool of quality men. I'm not interested in your banter about what you remember us doing, nor am I the least bit entertained by you telling me that you want me so much and you miss me and love me... BULL SHIT! haha!

Just sharing my latest thoughts on the opposite sex.. chime in if you wish:)

"Chitlin Circuit"

Ok ... no lie... I am on ITUNES radio... and there is seriously a station called "Chitlin Circuit"... not only was I a bit shocked by this name, but seriously how do chitlins and music relate AT ALL... they claim by the station name that it's the origination of blues and r&b... I'm sorry, but pigs intestines is not the origination of smooth sultry sounds like Brian McKnight, R.Kelly, Neyo, 112, Voices of Theory, Jagged Edge, Usher or any other R&B artist.. Just had to share that with ya'll!

Adult Temper-tantrums

This topic is one I've wanted to touch on for quite some time... Growing up, supposedly you're supposed to be taught things like communication skills, social skills, and basically all other necessary skills required to live in the real world. However, I find that I encounter more and more individuals who's skill set is far from complete.

Since when is it OK for adults to throw temper-tantrums? I thinks its safe to say that the "real world" is just high school with more serious issues, like taxes and insurance. However, I thought once you grew out of the taking bath stage of life, temper-tantrums would then follow in suit and cease... Not the case at all. Between colleagues, acquaintances, and various other people, I've seen an increase in "adult temper-tantrums" in the last month. Maybe it's due to a bad economy, bad relationships, who knows... but seriously... it's a bit ridiculous...

I want to ask these individuals.. who the hell told you it was OK to act like this? I mean really... since when is it OK for a grown ass adult to throw a fit over petty shit...and it's not just females.. it's guys too.. the minute you don't get your way, temper-tantrums. And they come in many forms- Most common, is the "blow up and act like everythings ok afterwards format" (demonstrations coming soon) Then there's the "Inaudible Screaming", "Ignore Til' It Goes Away", "Deprivation of Sex", and my favorite the "Fuck It, I'm Done"

If you're guilty of throwing any of these temper-tantrums... reconsider your life skills.. you may need to take Life 101 another time!

Want in One Hand, Shit in the Other.. See Which Gets Fuller First

This is a saying that my father used to always say to me when I would ask for something, state an ambition that I had, or a goal I wanted to reach. I never quite got the meaning of this phrase, but it cracks me up none the less.

Friend's Theory...

A friend tried to explain the theory saying that wants are invisible, thus would never fill up your hand, however, shit, a solid matter, would fill it up quickly....

And My Thoughts On That...

That makes absolutely no sense, wants are indefinite, you never stop WANTING things in life, so therefore, that hand would always be full.... shits on the other hand, happen once a day if you've got a high fiber diet, which would already exclude that hand from being full faster or first.

The Point of it All...

This is what I can't figure out... regardless of which hand got fuller faster first, why does it matter? What's the relevancy of the statement?
If a child says.. "I want that toy"--- I'd like to know how telling them to "want in one hand, shit in the other and see which gets fuller first" is going to help the situation... if anything, you're going to end up with a big mess and a "well, you told me to do it" at the end of it all.

And Now...

I'm now convinced, as an adult, this was just a phrase to make me wonder what the hell is he talking about... and in turn inevitably shut me up...However, I am open to other theories of the statements relevancy. Leave a comment with your thoughts on the statement.